[Resolve] Proposed ideas and thoughts for a document on conflict prevention and to aid in conflict resolution:

[Asfodel May]

Proposed ideas and thoughts for a document on conflict
prevention and to aid in conflict resolution:

1. Almost all of us who come to the movement for
social justice were brought up and have been
functioning in the conventional society, which is
based on competition, supremacy of one person over
another according to status or perceived superior
ability, and the notion of meritocracy, where one is
praised or awarded power if he/she can produce.
Whether we mean to or not, we bring these biases and
expectations with us when we agree to join groups that
operate by egalitarian, consensus-based collectivism.

2. Because consensus and equality presuppose mutual
trust and a shared sense of mission, many of us may
expect solidarity, harmony, and loving kindness to
permeate such groups. On the contrary, adhering to
egalitarian, anti-authoritarian  principles means
applying minimal interference to one another, or
letting people be who they are, including the
annoying, the trying, and the obnoxious. 

3. Egalitarian groups afford very little opportunity
to control others or the group itself. Attempting to
do so would be out of keeping with the principles of
maximum autonomy and free choice. (The corollary to
this is that group members have a profound
responsibility not to make themselves a nuisance to
others. ) The overall result is a group that is not
smooth or harmonious, though it may be loving and
collegial, but highly heterogeneous, rife with rough
spots and bumps. 

4. The end result of a project that has been produced
collectively is an uneven patchwork of viewpoints and
ability levels. Allowing everybody to give their
input, even when ability is not equal, is a strength,
not a weakness, as is letting the process show.  We
are accustomed to valuing a slick, polished
presentation, but letting the seams show empowers
others with information of how something was done.

5. Many conflicts arise out of the desire to control
other people’s behavior and to control the output of
the group’s activities.  In an egalitarian group, not
everybody has to agree or like each other or approve
of the work that is being done, they merely have to
consent to it. Which means that unless something is
really important or central to the values of the
organization, the wisest course is often to just let
it be.

6. Whenever an attempt is made to control another
member of the group, no matter how well meaning (to
preserve harmony, end disruption, make time to tend to
the work of the group, etc.), that person will
inevitably feel resentful, and possibly very hurt or
angry.  If he or she reacts, conflict begins. 

7. There are legitimate reasons to speak up against
inappropriate behavior: if there exists a power
inequity or informal hierarchy that makes true
consensus impossible, or if someone is cruel.
(Unfortunately, whoever comes out against a
power-grabbing faction is usually verbally and
psychologically beaten into submission, often with the
complicity of the entire collective.) Too often, the
transgressions of the merely annoying or awkward are
trumped up into charges of threats or “disruptiveness”
(not a legitimate charge, since it lacks any concrete,
verifiable meaning) to appear to merit the attention
of the group as a whole.

---------------------------------

I’m tired and this is what I have so far. I would
appreciate any comments, points of disagreement,
ideas, etc.

Incidentally, I was fortunate to have attended, by
complete chance, a radical, child-empowering
elementary school. I also base what I’m writing on the
ideals of punk rock and Food Not Bombs, which were my
formative influences in the egalitarian scene. In
addition, I write from the experience of having been 
in (several, though one in particular) highly
dysfunctional, downright nasty, in fact, supposedly
egalitarian collectives.

 Delfina


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